Been a While

I've slowed down significantly these past few months... or maybe I'm just channelling all my energy into something else. Typical me. Start something and never finish it; instead start a new activity. I need to fix that. I still have things I need to finish. It's a good habit to get into.

Lot of stuff happened. Winteriums, I guess, are the earliest. Just basically went around local places in Redlands and then Laguna Beach... I can't decide if it was as bad or worse than last year's winterium. I'm actually thinking I might make one to go to Herst's Castle or Winchester Mansion. Really wanna go to Winchester Mansion.

Anyway, I've had a nice break from the blogs... gonna get started again real soon.

Strange... I feel like I've had a lot to say and planned to put much more detail in this post. Maybe it wasn't that important anyway.

I find myself drifting. In a lot of things and it's starting to weigh down on me. My story, D.V., is taking many twists and turns... not always for the good, but hey, I think it's still in its early stages. But I think it takes those turns because of a lack of communication. I hardly talk to V anymore. Brigitte I can't get to shut up, but eh, that's love for ya. Heh. I don't think I'm distributing my time evenly between friends. 'Course, I'd hate to be a bother to anyone...

I find it especially strange why I feel this way. I'm always so cautious and guarded... one would think I was beaten as a kid or told I was a waste of space. But it's the opposite. So maybe it's something else making me feel this way... I've always felt this way. I remember writing my mother notes asking if I could go to the bathroom when I was younger. I was too afraid to ask in person. Why was I afraid in the first place? She never raised a hand to me... never really yelled at me. Perhaps I'm just naturally paranoid. Wonderful.

I'm also having trouble starting my way in the world. I know what I want to be, but I don't know where to start. Like a story... I know what I want the story to be; I envision certain scenes and events clearly... but where to start? How do I begin the story properly to flow into my vision? It's like that now, only it's real... I don't know where to go to make my vision reality.

I suppose the best way to start... is to do the best I can. Even if it's tedious, even if it seems stupid or that I won't need it in the real world... I'll just have to do what they want me to do for another year... Then I can set sail anywhere I please. Yea. That's what I'm going to do.

Doing Some Thinking

I've actually been rather upbeat this past week. Don't know if it's cuz I took an emotional break from my numerous Blogger accounts and numerous Facebook accounts, but I think it's safe to say that that was what was getting me so hyped. Heehee. Yes, I find that funny.

This week was finals for the end of the second trimester. Went over pretty well, except Spanish. That stressed me out. Couldn't read half of what the sentences I was supposed to conjugate said. So my back was in a lot of pain on top of my monthly. Oh what joy. Luckily mom got me a crap load of chocolate so I don't think I'll be killing anyone this time. Mwahaha.

Also, I got a new website put up. Been editing it all week. Wanted to kill it a few times cuz it just wouldn't cooperate. It's far from being done, but then again, when is a website ever done? Exactly. There are 47 characters on that website, not all of them are from me, but I got to thinking lately. I've shared this revaluation with Brigitte and she agrees with me that all of the characters we create are just an extension of ourselves, augmenting a certain trait or aspect that is part of us as whole. So, taking away the ones that don't belong to me, I'd say I have around 35 extensions of myself roaming around. Kind of creepy when you think about it. Especially this one character, Alice, who deals with an inner entity of madness called Dawn. I'm trying to think when and how that applies to a small part of me in certain situations. Dawn always threatens and tries to kill Alice. And Alice is just a girl trying to find strength and power from friends to fight off Dawn. Dawn wants to be real and Alice just wants friends. Maybe there's a lot more depth in my characters as a reflection of myself than I thought. Something to think about.

I feel like I should have more to say, but honestly, that's all I've been doing really. Nothing spectacular. Except Doctor Who. Got to watch some of that this week. Mom loves certain concepts of certain episodes, like Atmos and the Sontarans. So we might have hope to continue forward with it together. Hopefully we can get through the sad parts and still love it. Heehee.

Oh, and, SPRING BREAK!!! Whoo!