I've been neglecting everything and everyone. I feel like Facebook is taking over my life. Haven't been able to do any blog updates. Or talk to Amanda about her blog updates. Homework is lacking. I feel terrible. But I can't concentrate. I see no motivation. I think I'm beyond spiritualistic. I don't really see the need to keep progressing if it'll mean nothing when I die. It's more the fulfillment of wanting to accomplish something that keeps me going, but I feel like it's not happening right now. And I'm not taking a proactive approach to correct it, to accomplish things. I just don't see any point. I'm not saying I'm going to commit suicide or anything. But really, what can I do that someone else hasn't done before me?
I'm feeling really lazy as a result lately. Like, for the past month. I feel like crap for not doing anything. Maybe I'm depressed. I don't really see why. I'm not secluding myself from everyone. At least, I don't think so. I feel tired all the time. I went to bed early last night and I still feel like I'm experiencing life through a passive point of view. Like it's all a dream.
I don't want to let anyone down. But it's my life too, right? What am I supposed to do with it? Why can't I do it now and get it over with?
I can't gather my thoughts. I feel sad, angry, and tired. I don't want to do this anymore.
*hugs* I'm going through something like this too. "What's the point in living, if I'm probably not going to accomplish anything?" The thing with that is to keep pushing yourself until you do.
ReplyDeleteI think of it this way: If I die, I die. It sucks but it was going to happen anyway. In the meantime I might as well do something fun.
*hugs back* Thank you. Just knowing I'm not the only one is a big help already. :)
ReplyDeleteI think this all stems from a belief of mine. Like, I'm seeing life through these eyes as this person... so maybe there's something only I can accomplish as such. I dunno; sounds a little too identical to destiny. XP