And I can't believe I was too stupid to recognize the deeper meaning of it. I have always known that I was a procrastinator and that when I attempt to do things at the last minute and they don't go according to plan, I panic... Kind of a common thing, no? Only... for almost all my life I believed I was picked out to be the victim. And only now do I realize that I'M actually the one putting myself there.
What happened not too long ago is a perfect example. There's a Valentine's Dance tomorrow and I wanted Brigitte to come. Now, even though the Dance was announced about a week in advance, I still waited until the last minute to even ask whether or not she could go since she technically wasn't a Grove School student anymore. Gena said that Brigitte would need to fill out a guest pass and that she would approve of her going. So I gave the form to Ashley, Brigitte's little sister, to give to her when she got home... only to be informed later that she had lost it. This was yesterday when I'd already left the school campus. I became very upset, telling her I knew it would be too good to be true for her to actually come someplace with me. And she remained calm and clear-headed, trying to ease my frustrations.
I felt like the victim... when really if I bothered to do this earlier the whole mess could've been avoided. And... I almost expected her to feel sorry for me. I am truly the worst offender.
If you still go to the dance, I hope you have fun :)
ReplyDeleteI'll have classes that day then watching the Tribe Twelve livestream XD
Don't beat yourself up about it. Realizing your mistakes is a good first step.