Been a While

I've slowed down significantly these past few months... or maybe I'm just channelling all my energy into something else. Typical me. Start something and never finish it; instead start a new activity. I need to fix that. I still have things I need to finish. It's a good habit to get into.

Lot of stuff happened. Winteriums, I guess, are the earliest. Just basically went around local places in Redlands and then Laguna Beach... I can't decide if it was as bad or worse than last year's winterium. I'm actually thinking I might make one to go to Herst's Castle or Winchester Mansion. Really wanna go to Winchester Mansion.

Anyway, I've had a nice break from the blogs... gonna get started again real soon.

Strange... I feel like I've had a lot to say and planned to put much more detail in this post. Maybe it wasn't that important anyway.

I find myself drifting. In a lot of things and it's starting to weigh down on me. My story, D.V., is taking many twists and turns... not always for the good, but hey, I think it's still in its early stages. But I think it takes those turns because of a lack of communication. I hardly talk to V anymore. Brigitte I can't get to shut up, but eh, that's love for ya. Heh. I don't think I'm distributing my time evenly between friends. 'Course, I'd hate to be a bother to anyone...

I find it especially strange why I feel this way. I'm always so cautious and guarded... one would think I was beaten as a kid or told I was a waste of space. But it's the opposite. So maybe it's something else making me feel this way... I've always felt this way. I remember writing my mother notes asking if I could go to the bathroom when I was younger. I was too afraid to ask in person. Why was I afraid in the first place? She never raised a hand to me... never really yelled at me. Perhaps I'm just naturally paranoid. Wonderful.

I'm also having trouble starting my way in the world. I know what I want to be, but I don't know where to start. Like a story... I know what I want the story to be; I envision certain scenes and events clearly... but where to start? How do I begin the story properly to flow into my vision? It's like that now, only it's real... I don't know where to go to make my vision reality.

I suppose the best way to start... is to do the best I can. Even if it's tedious, even if it seems stupid or that I won't need it in the real world... I'll just have to do what they want me to do for another year... Then I can set sail anywhere I please. Yea. That's what I'm going to do.