Deeeeaaaan. Jesus dies.

Saw The Host today. I wasn't overly impressed with it, but it was an interesting concept. I felt a few of the scenes or lines were either idiotic or poorly acted, though it did have a few redeeming scenes or characteristics. Of course, every time I saw Jake Abel I couldn't stop screaming in my head "ADAM!". Spending time being infatuated with an alien seems to be his pastime while still in Lucifer's Cage. And they say I'm mad. Ha!

I was glad for the change of pace. These past few weeks have been monotonous and with each one that passes I get a little less motivated. It seemed to really hit me hard last night and my heart actually wrenched with every horrible thing I could think of to call myself. Not sure if it was out of denial or acceptance. I just knew that after the hour I was left alone to my thoughts I was abruptly exhausted. I didn't have the energy or the motivation to do anything.

This morning I was exceptionally irritable. It didn't start right off the bat when I woke up, but I could feel it building as the minutes passed. I started mentally berating myself for all the stupid things I'd done: screw up my grades, ruin my phone, forget to do something mundane like brush my teeth or leave a hairbrush in the car. The self loathing had me in tears by the time my mom had driven us to her office. The wind didn't help either.

This afternoon has been much more promising. I got to spend time with my friends and there was never a dull moment with them. It's always nice being able to talk about things, like movies or shows, that I wouldn't normally be able to discuss with anyone. Makes me feel a little less alone, I suppose.

Can't get Radioactive out of my head now. I'm okay with that.